Journey Toward Self-Authorship

Baxter-Magolda (2009) defines self authorship as "using your internal voice and core personal values to guide your life" (p. 2). Throughout childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, we are continuously influenced by our surroundings, and each individual develops and internalizes their own values, principles, and beliefs about how to live and how to succeed. One's core values, principles, and beliefs work together to inform the internal voice that provides direction in decision-making. For children and young adults, external formulas, or "plans that are acquired from authorities" (Baxter-Magolda, 2009, p. 6) often override the internal voice. It can take time to develop and learn to follow an internal voice, even into one's adulthood.

External formulas that I personally followed impacted some significant life decisions. The decision to attend college to earn a Bachelor's degree was due to parental and societal expectations. While I was fortunate to be able to study in a field I enjoyed, I consistently felt external pressure to do more and learn more to ensure I was employable and gaining marketable skills, not just good grades. This was not bad advice, but it was a source of external pressure and stress that felt vague and daunting. Beyond college, external formulas also influenced how I defined success in my jobs, the kind of car I drove, the decision to buy a house, and even where and how to get married.

The first step toward self-authorship occurs when someone reaches a crossroad, or a point of deciding between following the vision and expectations of others or following one's own path determined by the internal voice (Baxter-Magolda, 2009). Deciding to major in English and minor in History for my undergraduate studies was an exercise in following my internal voice at a crossroad. I distinctly remember being judged by others because my major lacked a direct career connection, plus the country happened to be in an economic recession at the time. I regularly heard sarcastic comments such as "Are you going to write the next great American novel?" or "Where do you plan to work? The 'English factory' is closed." I did not know where I would land a job after graduating, but I had to follow the right course of study for me. It was something I truly enjoyed and I knew I could succeed.

Another significant crossroad was deciding to leave a customer service job I liked at a good company with good people and accept my first higher education-related job. It was a single stepping stone that led me down my current career path, and I'm glad I took it. At the time, it was exciting but difficult to take a chance on a new company, new position, and new working environment and culture. A few years later, I found myself at another crossroad when I was ready for a change but also preferred to stay with the company. I reflected on my years of work experience and the interests I had developed. I decided to invest in myself and applied to Buffalo State's Higher Education and Student Affairs Administration graduate program.

Overall, the coursework in my graduate program has met my expectations. The emphasis on self-care and building connections and relationships with other students, faculty, and professionals exceeded my expectations. Additionally, I never thought I would participate in study abroad for the first time as a graduate student, so that opportunity far exceeded any expectation I had for travel or learning outside the classroom. I am confident my time in the program is helping me further cultivate my internal voice to pursue lifelong learning and a career that is right for me.

Baxter-Magolda, M. (2009). Authoring your life: Developing an internal voice to navigate life’s challenges. Sterling, VA: Stylus.